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New-new Ideas! (Again!)

My, my, my! Things around here changed a little bit since I’ve been gone. WordPress got a tune-up… or a face lift, I don’t know. I haven’t explored anything. But you guys look beautiful, I’ll tell you that much. So, yeah… it’s been a while, and I have some important and heartbreaking news to tell you people, and not just the fact that I like to talk like somebody reads this blog ’cause that will be our little secret. But the news I have to tell you is that… there’s somebody else.

That’s right, I got another blog that wants my attention other than you lovely people. And no, it’s not popular and has the same status as you= 000%, but that’s okay. I just thought I ought to tell you guys because I think I’ll finally put this blog behind me…. we shared a lot. You and me, kid. But it’s not like we won’t hang out, because unlike an actual relationship where you’d leave out the other guy’s name, you can, if you know this blog or if you stumble on this blog (trying really hard not to spell vlog, I realized), that you can go over to my new blog: http://thegoodgentlemansletter.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/so-yeah/

That’s a link to my last post. I will be updating it tomorrow after I get home from school, but there’s a bit of information you might find inner-resting…. why does it sound like that sometimes when people say “interesting?” Just asking. I hope you follow me there, it should be good times. More ramblings, more thought-provoking ideas, and more reasons to be the gentleman who happens to throw that out the window when he eats noodles. By the way, my mom made spaghetti the other day with garlic bread….. *trembles with joy*

Oh, yeah! I’m going to vlog again. I know you people have heard it a thousand times, but hopefully my post over on my new vlog might instill a little faith in ya X) Starting to blog again, vlog and all sorts of stuff. Hope to keep all that archived, man… whew…

Again, here’s the link: http://thegoodgentlemansletter.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/so-yeah/

Depression 101

I literally just watched Emma Blackery’s video entitled; “Feel Good 101: Depression.” Hence the title. And I just wanted to touch–more like agree with one of the things she said, when she was talking about selfishness. One thing she talked about was doing things for yourself, small things, big things, just…. stuff, you know? I’ll link the video just below here, but what I’m getting at is that she wanted you to know that even if you aren’t in a place where you can talk to someone, it’s important that we at least try and enjoy bits and pieces of life to the best of our ability.

I can totally vouch for her on the selfishness thing. Like she said, don’t be a big asshole about it lol, but the reason I got depression originally was because I didn’t give a crap about myself. All I cared about was other people, family mainly. Which SOUNDS like a really brave and selfless thing to do for your family… but it’s not….. when you’re being an idiot about it.
I learned that I needed to care about myself, and excel. Otherwise, I would be doing my family, and overall myself, a disservice by not seeing what I was capable of. First you gotta figure out why life’s worth living, that I already knew though. What I still have trouble with is how I need to go about it. Just take a few proper steps in the right direction, and get help–For crying out loud, take it from me, you do NOT want to do this alone. So, if you do have someone, call out, cry out if you have to.
Just think, you are no less than anyone else. You’re in a bad place, but that does not mean you are broken for good. You are capable of great things, and I know this because you are human. We’re the smartest creatures on this planet (that we know of ;P), but we never act like it because for animals, they need to learn things right away, survival of the fittest. We take over twenty years to properly grow and experience life to its fullest, lol. As well we should <.< And to be honestly confident in whatever you want to do, that DOES take years, if we’re talking Veteran/Boss status xD
So, all in all, remember that you matter. Or let me tell you that you DO matter. Life is a precious thing, and a terrible thing to waste. So, if are able to talk to your parents about all this, I would give you the biggest shoulder-punch of admiration you’ll ever get in your entire lifetime. If you can’t go to your parents–me, personally, I’d  more likely than not go to my sister, cause we’re pretty tight, I’d say. All in all, I would encourage you to keep it in the family if at all possible.
A lot of people treat family like a bad marriage, like divorce is just around the corner. If you still have a family, hold onto it. I understand though that there are a lot of broken families out there, so there’s always teachers, in-school counselors, doctors–I think I would go for the depression hotlines that you could find the number to online, maybe a computer at school, the library, a friend’s when they aren’t looking ;), or just plain at home. The reason being is cause I don’t like doctors very much, not trying to talk you out of it or anything, lol. I’m just saying, in my own opinion, that if they put you on drugs–THEY AREN’T HELPING YOU!
Some people are really worse off that they need a pill, but if you aren’t having panic attacks every 5 minutes, I beg of you to just find a good doctor that you can really talk to and one that listens to you. Because that’s what’s gonna get your head in a good place, not some drug that you probably have done no research on whatsoever.  Some people can’t sit still… I would know. But sometimes, most of the time even, all you need is someone to listen to and someone to vent to. I would highly suggest also talking about things you’d like to do, or see, go to–blah, blah, blah lol. Setting goals can be hard, cause they feel so far away, you feel like your ambition will never last that long. But like a lot of things, it’s great to talk about it, and it’s great to keep it alive that way, yeah?
So, thank you for listening to my ramble on depression/learning to be selfish/treatment options. Really, I’ve been there, and it is not a good place. Twice I’ve been there and for two different reasons, so I must relay this back to you one more time, you do NOT…… you do not want to do this alone, believe me. And I hope anyone who is going through this gets the help you need 🙂
Bye-bye now.

MOMENTUM

That’s what I believe in! If you don’t got it, get it! Especially if you’ve been accused of being hypomanic, because it is scientifically proven that many under hypomanic conditions work better, in creative situations, with greater increases of momentum.

Friend: Is that really true?
Me: mmmm–I dunno.

Now, I’ve stopped momentum to write about this–HOWEVER, I strongly feel that I need to take advantage of this here tool that dares call itself “momentum.” Simply because…. I have a horrible excuse for a willpower, lol. The goal here is to fight for momentum, FIGHT FOR IT, I SAY! But not just momentum, dudes and lady-dudes… no. I plan to use this “tool” oh so very EVIL projects that I would normally crumble in… meh, two weeks? About as long as a New Year resolution, eh? XD (*mumbles* speaking of which, I should get on that… <.<)

This may just be the very vantage point I need, hehehe… But I need JUST the right project for this, which shouldn’t be too hard, cause I got more projects on hiatus than I know what to do with lol… *looks up at the mountain-sized projects*….. …. ….. ……. … ……………. …. ………. ….. ……………….. … This may be a big–bit tougher than I originally thought >.> But I do already have a project in mind, it’s a part of perfectionism syndrome, pre-predetermined choices v.v

Save Case Closed IS this project… my only dilemma is time, do I ever have enough to go around? OF COURSE NOT!!! That means I need to really prioritize and organize, not just the project I am turning my focus to, but other hovering projects so that they won’t seep into my primary work. Get the flow going all nice-like, naww I mean? But you know what? I’m up for the challenge….. probably! All right, whatever. I can feel those judging eyes, and you may have the right, but ‘I’ reserve the right to completely pwn you all when the time is right!!! ^_^ I am, however, off to a great start, don’tchu tink?

WIN_20140107_131321

 

And I know what you’re thinking, that’s a gaming controller–BUT, I’m not fooling around, ‘kay? That’s Ghost Recon, man! I’m prepping for my full freaking scale attack on this here anime campaign, ya heard?! B| I only expect to work tirelessly! “Yeah, around the clock. Coal miners won’t know of my exhaustion, I don’t even think landscapers can begin to imagine–well, not to undermine their sacrifice.” ~ Roxy via Platoon of Power Squadron.

Mission…. set!
…. Saru Knight……… execute!!!

 

The Sky Orbs!!!

This isn’t too difficult to figure out, actually. ‘Specially if I’ve mentioned my love for juggling before, if. But I am mentioning it now, aren’t I? So, that settles that. What I’d like to talk about today is that very thing, and of course, the whats, whys, whens, and a who! When was…. I don’t even know when I started juggling, but it’s been years, and it took months, possibly years to learn. Only because I always kept dropping my interest and picking it back up again, that’s one of the many things I love about juggling, it’s no big deal, but it sure is pretty fun when you are doing it, not to mention hypnotic at times….

Anyhoozies, it’s been a long, and intriguing journey so far, and I know now that it’s actually going to keep going. After all, I may know how to put on a show, but I can only juggling spherical objects, and only 3 at that. Not including one-handed two ball juggling techniques that I can use both hands simultaneously, thus creating a four-ball juggle. I can do the basics; the cascade, a 3-ball two-hand. Two-ball one-handed columns, and 3-ball. Something I call ‘The Reverse Eclipse,’ which is the first technique I taught myself. I’m sure it has an official name, but I’m sticking with this one. Plus, it sounds cool. Last 3-ball technique I learned was the reverse cascade, and you know what? It IS just as easy as the regular ole cascade, you just can’t let yourself get psyched out and push on through!

On that note, there are a few psyche-outs in learning juggling. Reverse motions, using your left hand, and even learning juggling itself. Those are just a few of the miss-perceptions I’ve come across, but I’ll spare you the rest. But I gotta say, you gotta love these psyche-outs, right? They exist in practically everything you learn, and when you overcome them, or even dodge them before they get you? What a rush, on both counts.

Juggling is so simple, yet very satisfying. For me, and this might sound weird (like you aren’t used to that), but sometimes it feels like I’m orchestrating a movement, especially when I’m extending my arms for further-reach juggling, goin’ a bit wild with catching, you know? And I mean, when you’re juggling, you can almost feel a heartbeat in each flying object. You feel terrible if you drop one, but it feels amazing when you’re tossing them up, like it doesn’t matter what happens, cause you aren’t going to let anything touch the floor anyhow. It’s calming.

Of course, there’s also a competitive side to it, and that’s always a lot of fun. How long you can go, how many balls you can juggling, jumping from technique to technique! The concentration! And let me tell ya, my peripheral vision couldn’t be any better. I find myself catching things that are about to fall, or are in mid-air, which would make anyone feel badass. And you gotta love the accomplishment after you caught every single ball, cause I don’t know about any of you, but I for one can still drop the very last ball if–In fact, a lot of the time, I will think “All right, time to stop,” and in that brief moment, I lose concentration and drop one. Speaking of which, I recommend taking up juggling, even if all you got is golf balls. But I warn you, golf balls are not something I would recommend to beginners, much less amateurs. They’ll shoot at your eye, any breakable object, they roll away if you drop them, and if you live in an apartment level higher than the first floor, or if anyone sleeps downstairs, don’t practice at night. Hackey-sacks are what I recommend. Tennis balls are ideal, but you’re still chasing after them, am I right?

I actually picked this back up again about a month ago, and it pains me to think that I’ve crossed a new goal for this venture. Because in a way, it’s a new threshold, a threshold of awesome, and that’s something you purely feel, and desire. I got plenty of new techniques I have to learn, but my new prime goal is to be able to juggle blindfolded!!! That will be no easy feat, AND I’m gonna have to start small, almost like starting over…. But that doesn’t bother me, quite the opposite. I take pleasure in learning new things, and experiencing the ups and downs that follow. Learning how to juggling blindfolded? It’s like beating a video game 3 times in each given setting, and finding out there’s an ‘Insane’ difficulty.

The problem with this kind of desire though is that sometimes I wish I’d slow down, but what can you do? I’m a highly curious and passionate guy, I’m pretty much doomed. At least the perks are great. Anyhoozies, I generally suck when I’m crossing a threshold, but once I’ve stumbled upon it, it’s like…. I don’t care about anything else regarding the subject until I’ve gotten through everything until I reach that new threshold, and shine in it as well. Or, at least until I’m satisfied enough to call it quits for the day. Stumbling upon something that peaks my interest is like fire, it really does consume me if it’s particularly mind-drawing. My body feels like an electric pulse is shooting through me…. I get all worked up!! But fortunately for me, that’s a good thing…. most of the time. Hehehe…

Oh, yeah!!! I’ve taken on a student… well, if you call your sister a student. I don’t know about you, but I can never get a sibling, an older one no less, to take you seriously as a teacher. But it’s going good for the 2 lessons she’s had. Although, learning how to juggle is really just all practice, once you’ve learned the basics, it’s just a matter of time until those spheres are flying through the air. Of course, I love teachering (teaching), but I hate to see it end. It’s worth it, I suppose… Oh, well.

I guess that’s all I got for now, eh? Just thought I’d share something going on right now, ish. I really do recommend it. It takes a while, but go through the necessary steps, there’s no rush, or so I should think. Now, good day….. I said good day!!

Bye-bye now.

Late last night….

Books and I have always had a love/hat relationship. Well, not hate, of course. I just get terribly unfocused when it comes to reading books, so you know, I generally forget about reading for fun, unless it’s manga. I don’t know. But I know that one day, when I’m older, married or not, I’ll have a room full of them, cause I love books too much, so I will not give up! I WILL be able to walk the walk. On a related note, ideally, this room will only be entered through a secret passage ;D

But upon yesterday’s moon, an idea arose–I think I get ‘old age’ in the mind-set of books. The invention of books has been around for a very, very… …very long time. But this idea I have is far more modern, I assure you.

I was just sitting at my computer, watchin’ some ‘itswaypastmybedtime,’ her books suggestion videos specifically, and she not only said that she got people who don’t like to read, to read, but also has roughly three HUNDRED books, due to her book-buying addiction. And with my personal library dream, it gave me the idea for a program that keeps track of all your books AND of who borrows them.

Of course, only people with large book collections can fully enjoy this program, but just imagine the possibilities! As far as lending out books, I was thinking that it could go from 1-week loaners, to 12, which is 3 months. 4 weeks, 7 weeks, 5 weeks, 10 weeks, you get the idea. Then it can jump to a 6-month loan, and then a full year. And, of course, a 10-year loan. Nobody will ever use it, much less keep to it, but I wouldn’t be able to resist inputting such a feature. It would require special accommodations, in case somebody ACTUALLY wanted to use it. This program would be great if it weren’t for the very thing that enables us to use it now; technology.

Technology will keep growing. You would have to produce a device that was specifically designed for it, or something. Or a very attentive programmer, very attentive indeed. Kind of a downer though, how technology is evolving so rapidly. You gotta stay on top of it, or else it’ll bury you alive. I feel bad for people in that industry lol. Still, it’s a very youthful industry that will only get bigger and bigger.

But you know, design is also something that always has many possibilities. I was thinking of a high-tech theme, as a way to give it a powerful, endless-database, and cool skin. I’ve always been a fan of ultra-advance technology in entertainment, cartoons especially. But on second thought, maybe I should go with a more ‘ancient’ look, hm? Then again, that’s a little too overly used, isn’t it? Despite the originality of the situation here. Kind of a… gamer geek flavor, but a book-lover’s paradise body, huh? Maybe. I guess I could find a way to make it my own, some way. Ahem, excuse me. Make it ‘ours,’ right? Because, most likely, I would have to enlist the help of a pretty good programmer. Hopefully, this programmer is a girl, cause I just find it odd when computer dudes call something ‘their baby’ lol. MY baby, yes. But not ours. Never.

If there is a program like this out there, I should look into it. But if there isn’t, I don’t care if you steal it, I would just like to lead the ball. No credit needed, I just love this idea, and I would just….. Oh, man. lol I’m gonna work on this, cause I feel like this might actually be something. AND because of the off chance someone wants to make it real sooner than I think. At the very least, if I can’t sell it, maybe I could give it to someone who would love this program. And by ‘someone,’ I mean many people, book-lovers all over. I could start a society!!!! Well, maybe not. Or, maybe so? I’m sure something as cool as the name “The Ink Society” has already been taken, but if I ever get around to creating my story entitled “Jack Theodore & The Ink Society,” I will HAVE to name it that.

This idea will have to go in the time capsule. That’s just an expression though, I’m just gonna finish it and put it away until I feel I can bring it to life, if I ever do. I hope I do though. I am like a fountain of ideas right now, I’m not even gonna lie. Such excitement. Anyways, remember! Contact me if you want to give this a go, though I’m not expecting it XD. The only thing important to me about all this is at LEAST bringing it to life in my head. Bringing it out in a standby phase is good enough for me. But for now, I must sleep!

G’NIGHT EVERYBODY!! XD

Lonely

So. Loneliness. We all get that way, but it’s far more intere–I mean, identifying if you are specific, so I’ma start out with why I am lonely….. it really has nothing to do with being lonely, actually lol. But you know, I got something here I’d like to talk about, and that would be entertainment. I think entertainment of any kind is evil, know why? Other than the obvious self-destructing quality of mankind that will eventually grow and grow until WWIII begins and destroys us all!!!!!!…… Cause you know, it all starts with entertainment, what we are most influenced by on a regular basis. But again, not what I was going to talk about.

I’m just mad at entertainment because I get lost in what I’m entertaining myself with. Now, that could be my fault, but isn’t entertainment designed to take up time? That’s a twistin’ of words, but who cares? This is a blog, a journal on the internet, I’ll twist things however I like. But seriously, it’s like a trance, man! I’ve been  noticing this especially in comic books, manga to be more specific. And I know it’s a trance cause trances are like drugs, the whole world melts completely away. At the very least, if you want to do something else, you gotta snap your brain back into reality to be fully functional.

Maybe this is just normal, but I see this in pretty much everything I gain an interest in, and that’s a long list. I guess I’m just the passionate type, huh? Well, that’s fun. I do tend to go to extremes in everything I like to do when I want to. Sometimes when I don’t lol. So, if there are any of you out there who feel this way…. the only thing I can suggest is that your passion is a great energy, meaning big. Learn to control it before it eats you whole. It’s like a great taxidermist once said, “The mind is a terrible thing” 🙂

Bye-bye now.

Know why? Cause it’s true. We were all that way once. One thing we can commend babies on is that, especially the ones with uncaring parents, they start from the ground and work their way up. We all start from 000%, and work our way up to 100%. Unless you ask science, then we only get to 010% xD. Which begs the unrelated question, “What EXACTLY are we capable of?” As a Christian, I will say this for the community I walk with when I say “Imagine the day when God unlocks the other 090%….. whoa. Just, whoa.” xP.

Speaking of being a man of God, (and for those of you who aren’t religious, just a man in general, I suppose lol) I wanted to just say that life is friggin’ awesome, if you know how to live it right. AS a Christian though, despite I don’t consider Earth to be home… really, at all lol, God has a pretty good set-up for our time here. It’s beyond great. God or not, it’s a privilege to be alive. And I am honored to be able to taste life at its fullest. I think we should just acknowledge that, you know? The cliche “Life is what we make it” is so true that it doesn’t even sound it lol. At all really. It’s like saying “You can take on the world.” Which sounds awesome, but doable……. possibly. Possibly.

And you ‘member that I said life is a good thing if you know how to live it? You ‘member. It’s a funny thing, trying to figure out how you wanna live your life. So many complicated questions, and they’re all sewed together, every strand of yarn, in a scarf of doom. The sad thing is, that couldn’t be any more true. Life becomes delicate, much like a slight snip in a sheet of canvas. Very difficult to tear, until just the tiniest nip…. then it can all come undone with one swift *riiiiiiiiiiiip*

But it’s not always so quick to fall apart, sometimes it’s a slow pain, that doesn’t seem too daunting, not until it spreads. Once you realize what’s really going on, it’s already ingrained in your life. In essence, you rip it, and it’ll rip you. But it was like I was telling my friend last night, “When a threshold is crossed, a new power must be found.” And it’s like he said, “I’ll have to dig deep.” Very true, and nice choice of words by the way. That’s a common expression, but I still thought it fit the situation.

Crossing a threshold is…… well, for lack of a better word, hell. Personally, I live for crossing thresholds, it’s my bread and butter. Doesn’t make it easier, and you can cross thresholds by missing a few steps, and I don’t want to miss 1, so that’s quite difficult. But hey, at least I look forward to it. Friends, roommates, family, basically any assorted loved one, not so much. I don’t know why, they’re a bunch of wimps XP. It’s not a simple matter, but it is a much needed matter. A matter that needs dealt with. Otherwise, you’re just painting your way back to a bad place. And as a dentist might say, “Ain’t that the tooth!”

And if Gon, from Hunter x Hunter, IS like Naruto, from what I hear, then I can appeal to the Nuh-roo-toe fan (jaykay, not serious here, Naruto fans) in my friend, cause this post is pretty much both directed at, and inspired by him. Isn’t it Naruto who never gives in? Isn’t it Naruto that goes into a fight that he initially cannot win? Isn’t it NARUTO that will go far cause his heart is more stubborn than anyone in that show?!……. Isn’t he? I wouldn’t know lol. Either way, isn’t it you who was able to put up with my crap for nearly 2 years now? I would imagine that’s prepared you for a LITTLE bit. Speaking of which, did you not say that I inspired you to make a cartoon? …..That’s not a part of this, but it is a word of advice. DON’T try and make one until AFTER things are right in your world….. then pray for the passing of your cartoon lol. 100% serious though, all jokes aside ;|

I want to see you win just as much as the vice-versa, dude. And if I know anything, it’s that if you start on that path to obtain that strength we were talking about, then things really will only get worse lol. I think your best tool here is to compartmentalization. That’s why I told you a ways back that you should try and think about…. that one thing I can’t remember >_> The thing I said you should think about every day, if you could. Anything? Tell me if you figure it out first. Even though you and I both know… you’ll be the one to tell me -_- lol

I know this isn’t an intelligence thing, cause you ain’t dumb. And this ain’t a heart thing, cause you ain’t weak. This is a human thing, cause we all get dragged down so low to ground, and for so long, lower and lower as time goes by, we wonder why are legs haven’t given out yet. It’s been a while since I’ve been in yours shoes, but you know I’ve just been mentally exhausted. So, I can definitely empathize here. And I know you’re gonna find that diamond in the rough, cause that’s exactly what you are. Maybe a sapphire. With a little heat, that beautiful color can remain forever.

I told you last night that I didn’t know how to help you, or couldn’t give you much advice, ’cause it’s something everyone’s got to find on their own. But I’m still your friend, and I AM a jacob, so… since I DON’T know what to say, I think the only thing TO say is…. Close yours eyes. Close your eyes, and feel around for it. People’s eyes keep them from reaching out for something. You got a heart, and a brain. But why don’t you start with your 5 senses. They were put there for a reason.

We all start from the ground up, but most of us forget that we need to learn how to use what’s been given to us, all because we’ve lived on this planet for 15 years, 23 years, 50 years. So….. who cares? 3 of those years, a lot of us still peed our pants. 8 of them we’re learning our reading, writing and that one word that means math that I can’t spell. And forget the teen years, it’s like starting over. The pull that puberty has on everybody, it’s like,…… Well, it’s just what it exactly is. Emotion floods in, your capacity goes from a lake, to an ocean. Pretty big transition. It’s like, your senses to the world crack wide open. Life becomes a much bigger place.

Bigger can be scary. That’s why I know more people that shy away from life than get excited with full force, like me. Anybody who knows the world will generally shy away from life. That’s not illogical, no matter how sad that is. You can’t blame people because…. life is one hell of a thing that can happen to a person. And to my friend, or anyone that I reach with this post, (getting preachy, gross) everyone’s got that strength, the strength to…. stand up. To just simply stand up. If you got something to stand up for, someone, something, then you will, I believe that. And to those who don’t have something, or someone, to stand up for….. The world is a big place, much bigger than any of us care to admit. I’m sure that you can find something you care enough about. Don’t be lazy, there’s something, someone out there that’s precious, or can become precious, precious to you. And that’s a good thing.

So, I guess that’s all I got to say about the subject. To review, babies are stupid, living’s a privilege, but life’s a bitch. Or it can be, anyways. Your strength is there, it’s in me, your family, God. Which reminds me of that one lyric, from that one song, from that one movie, sung by that one guy. “Take strength from those that need you.” Sounds odd on the surface, but use the tools given to you, it’s not hard to understand. See it, feel it, act on it. Mind, heart and soul. Kind of like a pyramid group structure; Soul is king, Heart and Mind are the royal guards, and the five senses are the ninja/foot-soldiers. Do yourselves a favor, start with the foot soldiers. I’m out.

Bye-bye now.