Archive for August, 2013

Late last night….

Books and I have always had a love/hat relationship. Well, not hate, of course. I just get terribly unfocused when it comes to reading books, so you know, I generally forget about reading for fun, unless it’s manga. I don’t know. But I know that one day, when I’m older, married or not, I’ll have a room full of them, cause I love books too much, so I will not give up! I WILL be able to walk the walk. On a related note, ideally, this room will only be entered through a secret passage ;D

But upon yesterday’s moon, an idea arose–I think I get ‘old age’ in the mind-set of books. The invention of books has been around for a very, very… …very long time. But this idea I have is far more modern, I assure you.

I was just sitting at my computer, watchin’ some ‘itswaypastmybedtime,’ her books suggestion videos specifically, and she not only said that she got people who don’t like to read, to read, but also has roughly three HUNDRED books, due to her book-buying addiction. And with my personal library dream, it gave me the idea for a program that keeps track of all your books AND of who borrows them.

Of course, only people with large book collections can fully enjoy this program, but just imagine the possibilities! As far as lending out books, I was thinking that it could go from 1-week loaners, to 12, which is 3 months. 4 weeks, 7 weeks, 5 weeks, 10 weeks, you get the idea. Then it can jump to a 6-month loan, and then a full year. And, of course, a 10-year loan. Nobody will ever use it, much less keep to it, but I wouldn’t be able to resist inputting such a feature. It would require special accommodations, in case somebody ACTUALLY wanted to use it. This program would be great if it weren’t for the very thing that enables us to use it now; technology.

Technology will keep growing. You would have to produce a device that was specifically designed for it, or something. Or a very attentive programmer, very attentive indeed. Kind of a downer though, how technology is evolving so rapidly. You gotta stay on top of it, or else it’ll bury you alive. I feel bad for people in that industry lol. Still, it’s a very youthful industry that will only get bigger and bigger.

But you know, design is also something that always has many possibilities. I was thinking of a high-tech theme, as a way to give it a powerful, endless-database, and cool skin. I’ve always been a fan of ultra-advance technology in entertainment, cartoons especially. But on second thought, maybe I should go with a more ‘ancient’ look, hm? Then again, that’s a little too overly used, isn’t it? Despite the originality of the situation here. Kind of a… gamer geek flavor, but a book-lover’s paradise body, huh? Maybe. I guess I could find a way to make it my own, some way. Ahem, excuse me. Make it ‘ours,’ right? Because, most likely, I would have to enlist the help of a pretty good programmer. Hopefully, this programmer is a girl, cause I just find it odd when computer dudes call something ‘their baby’ lol. MY baby, yes. But not ours. Never.

If there is a program like this out there, I should look into it. But if there isn’t, I don’t care if you steal it, I would just like to lead the ball. No credit needed, I just love this idea, and I would just….. Oh, man. lol I’m gonna work on this, cause I feel like this might actually be something. AND because of the off chance someone wants to make it real sooner than I think. At the very least, if I can’t sell it, maybe I could give it to someone who would love this program. And by ‘someone,’ I mean many people, book-lovers all over. I could start a society!!!! Well, maybe not. Or, maybe so? I’m sure something as cool as the name “The Ink Society” has already been taken, but if I ever get around to creating my story entitled “Jack Theodore & The Ink Society,” I will HAVE to name it that.

This idea will have to go in the time capsule. That’s just an expression though, I’m just gonna finish it and put it away until I feel I can bring it to life, if I ever do. I hope I do though. I am like a fountain of ideas right now, I’m not even gonna lie. Such excitement. Anyways, remember! Contact me if you want to give this a go, though I’m not expecting it XD. The only thing important to me about all this is at LEAST bringing it to life in my head. Bringing it out in a standby phase is good enough for me. But for now, I must sleep!



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So. Loneliness. We all get that way, but it’s far more intere–I mean, identifying if you are specific, so I’ma start out with why I am lonely….. it really has nothing to do with being lonely, actually lol. But you know, I got something here I’d like to talk about, and that would be entertainment. I think entertainment of any kind is evil, know why? Other than the obvious self-destructing quality of mankind that will eventually grow and grow until WWIII begins and destroys us all!!!!!!…… Cause you know, it all starts with entertainment, what we are most influenced by on a regular basis. But again, not what I was going to talk about.

I’m just mad at entertainment because I get lost in what I’m entertaining myself with. Now, that could be my fault, but isn’t entertainment designed to take up time? That’s a twistin’ of words, but who cares? This is a blog, a journal on the internet, I’ll twist things however I like. But seriously, it’s like a trance, man! I’ve been  noticing this especially in comic books, manga to be more specific. And I know it’s a trance cause trances are like drugs, the whole world melts completely away. At the very least, if you want to do something else, you gotta snap your brain back into reality to be fully functional.

Maybe this is just normal, but I see this in pretty much everything I gain an interest in, and that’s a long list. I guess I’m just the passionate type, huh? Well, that’s fun. I do tend to go to extremes in everything I like to do when I want to. Sometimes when I don’t lol. So, if there are any of you out there who feel this way…. the only thing I can suggest is that your passion is a great energy, meaning big. Learn to control it before it eats you whole. It’s like a great taxidermist once said, “The mind is a terrible thing” 🙂

Bye-bye now.

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Know why? Cause it’s true. We were all that way once. One thing we can commend babies on is that, especially the ones with uncaring parents, they start from the ground and work their way up. We all start from 000%, and work our way up to 100%. Unless you ask science, then we only get to 010% xD. Which begs the unrelated question, “What EXACTLY are we capable of?” As a Christian, I will say this for the community I walk with when I say “Imagine the day when God unlocks the other 090%….. whoa. Just, whoa.” xP.

Speaking of being a man of God, (and for those of you who aren’t religious, just a man in general, I suppose lol) I wanted to just say that life is friggin’ awesome, if you know how to live it right. AS a Christian though, despite I don’t consider Earth to be home… really, at all lol, God has a pretty good set-up for our time here. It’s beyond great. God or not, it’s a privilege to be alive. And I am honored to be able to taste life at its fullest. I think we should just acknowledge that, you know? The cliche “Life is what we make it” is so true that it doesn’t even sound it lol. At all really. It’s like saying “You can take on the world.” Which sounds awesome, but doable……. possibly. Possibly.

And you ‘member that I said life is a good thing if you know how to live it? You ‘member. It’s a funny thing, trying to figure out how you wanna live your life. So many complicated questions, and they’re all sewed together, every strand of yarn, in a scarf of doom. The sad thing is, that couldn’t be any more true. Life becomes delicate, much like a slight snip in a sheet of canvas. Very difficult to tear, until just the tiniest nip…. then it can all come undone with one swift *riiiiiiiiiiiip*

But it’s not always so quick to fall apart, sometimes it’s a slow pain, that doesn’t seem too daunting, not until it spreads. Once you realize what’s really going on, it’s already ingrained in your life. In essence, you rip it, and it’ll rip you. But it was like I was telling my friend last night, “When a threshold is crossed, a new power must be found.” And it’s like he said, “I’ll have to dig deep.” Very true, and nice choice of words by the way. That’s a common expression, but I still thought it fit the situation.

Crossing a threshold is…… well, for lack of a better word, hell. Personally, I live for crossing thresholds, it’s my bread and butter. Doesn’t make it easier, and you can cross thresholds by missing a few steps, and I don’t want to miss 1, so that’s quite difficult. But hey, at least I look forward to it. Friends, roommates, family, basically any assorted loved one, not so much. I don’t know why, they’re a bunch of wimps XP. It’s not a simple matter, but it is a much needed matter. A matter that needs dealt with. Otherwise, you’re just painting your way back to a bad place. And as a dentist might say, “Ain’t that the tooth!”

And if Gon, from Hunter x Hunter, IS like Naruto, from what I hear, then I can appeal to the Nuh-roo-toe fan (jaykay, not serious here, Naruto fans) in my friend, cause this post is pretty much both directed at, and inspired by him. Isn’t it Naruto who never gives in? Isn’t it Naruto that goes into a fight that he initially cannot win? Isn’t it NARUTO that will go far cause his heart is more stubborn than anyone in that show?!……. Isn’t he? I wouldn’t know lol. Either way, isn’t it you who was able to put up with my crap for nearly 2 years now? I would imagine that’s prepared you for a LITTLE bit. Speaking of which, did you not say that I inspired you to make a cartoon? …..That’s not a part of this, but it is a word of advice. DON’T try and make one until AFTER things are right in your world….. then pray for the passing of your cartoon lol. 100% serious though, all jokes aside ;|

I want to see you win just as much as the vice-versa, dude. And if I know anything, it’s that if you start on that path to obtain that strength we were talking about, then things really will only get worse lol. I think your best tool here is to compartmentalization. That’s why I told you a ways back that you should try and think about…. that one thing I can’t remember >_> The thing I said you should think about every day, if you could. Anything? Tell me if you figure it out first. Even though you and I both know… you’ll be the one to tell me -_- lol

I know this isn’t an intelligence thing, cause you ain’t dumb. And this ain’t a heart thing, cause you ain’t weak. This is a human thing, cause we all get dragged down so low to ground, and for so long, lower and lower as time goes by, we wonder why are legs haven’t given out yet. It’s been a while since I’ve been in yours shoes, but you know I’ve just been mentally exhausted. So, I can definitely empathize here. And I know you’re gonna find that diamond in the rough, cause that’s exactly what you are. Maybe a sapphire. With a little heat, that beautiful color can remain forever.

I told you last night that I didn’t know how to help you, or couldn’t give you much advice, ’cause it’s something everyone’s got to find on their own. But I’m still your friend, and I AM a jacob, so… since I DON’T know what to say, I think the only thing TO say is…. Close yours eyes. Close your eyes, and feel around for it. People’s eyes keep them from reaching out for something. You got a heart, and a brain. But why don’t you start with your 5 senses. They were put there for a reason.

We all start from the ground up, but most of us forget that we need to learn how to use what’s been given to us, all because we’ve lived on this planet for 15 years, 23 years, 50 years. So….. who cares? 3 of those years, a lot of us still peed our pants. 8 of them we’re learning our reading, writing and that one word that means math that I can’t spell. And forget the teen years, it’s like starting over. The pull that puberty has on everybody, it’s like,…… Well, it’s just what it exactly is. Emotion floods in, your capacity goes from a lake, to an ocean. Pretty big transition. It’s like, your senses to the world crack wide open. Life becomes a much bigger place.

Bigger can be scary. That’s why I know more people that shy away from life than get excited with full force, like me. Anybody who knows the world will generally shy away from life. That’s not illogical, no matter how sad that is. You can’t blame people because…. life is one hell of a thing that can happen to a person. And to my friend, or anyone that I reach with this post, (getting preachy, gross) everyone’s got that strength, the strength to…. stand up. To just simply stand up. If you got something to stand up for, someone, something, then you will, I believe that. And to those who don’t have something, or someone, to stand up for….. The world is a big place, much bigger than any of us care to admit. I’m sure that you can find something you care enough about. Don’t be lazy, there’s something, someone out there that’s precious, or can become precious, precious to you. And that’s a good thing.

So, I guess that’s all I got to say about the subject. To review, babies are stupid, living’s a privilege, but life’s a bitch. Or it can be, anyways. Your strength is there, it’s in me, your family, God. Which reminds me of that one lyric, from that one song, from that one movie, sung by that one guy. “Take strength from those that need you.” Sounds odd on the surface, but use the tools given to you, it’s not hard to understand. See it, feel it, act on it. Mind, heart and soul. Kind of like a pyramid group structure; Soul is king, Heart and Mind are the royal guards, and the five senses are the ninja/foot-soldiers. Do yourselves a favor, start with the foot soldiers. I’m out.

Bye-bye now.

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Waning: Lengthy post  *nervous chuckle*

Being a man of logic sure does have its perks. (Man in background: “Ain’t that the truth!”) One who can commit to logic like it’s second nature is a rare one, apparently. Or first nature? I dunno. I never really thought about it like that, but it would explain quite a few things that always puzzled me. Mental acuity though isn’t everything, is it? I think everything has a balance, doesn’t it? The mind is quite the popular one, isn’t it? Cause the opposite of the mind is the heart, which isn’t what we’re talking about. We’re talking about the mind’s other best friend, something I’ve never really found the right for. But it’s basically physical fitness. And no, that doesn’t seem quite right.

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I am a real-life curious cat. I may not be the biggest detective geek, or the smartest kid in the classroom, but that’s the thing about curiosity, isn’t it? You don’t really have to be, it’s more of a…. near-lust desire to experience anything & everything, ya’know? And BEING a curious cat, puzzles, and even more so, the inner mechanics of something, always strikes a chord in me. Making the more complex of stuffs the most desirable and tasty thing in my eyes alone, not to mention based purely on fact. Simplicity is, for lack of a better word, a curious thing too when it wants to be, so that’s up there too, and not on the bottom. But complexity is such a mesmerizing concept.

The mind is the most complex, and yet, simple thing on this planet… possibly. Probably though. Which is most likely the reason why I am so drawn to it, why it peaks my interest so thoroughly. But I forget! Mental acuity has a brother, yang. Although, in this case, I would think “mind” is yang, and physical fitness would be–see?! Doesn’t fit, nope. But yeah, physical fitness would be Yin. After all, martial arts itself was not invented to hurt others, but to offer peace to the mind. Individually, they are powerful, but together, they are a force not to be reckoned with.

Physical fitness…. What can I say about physical fitness? Well, I can tell you one thing, it’s something that I have suppressed for a long time, and my affinity for it. So, not so much the act itself, though that does follow, but the exact same affinity I have for mental acuity, I have for physical fitness. As torturous as strengthening the mind is, at least I could go as far as the mind could think and not get tired so fast. So, in a way, it was just easier.

But now, I have hit a wall. Control has gotten harder, and my current environment only makes it more difficult. If I don’t handle this now, it’ll only be a problem for me later. In layman’s terms, the balance is off. The mind is outweighing the body. The physical attribute needs to put his effort in too. It can’t just be lazy, the mind will not carry all the weight. That–that’s gotta stop. That’s gotta stop. But I guess this is what I’ve been working up to, so… I think it’s time I learn how to be bullet-proof…. that’s a metaphor, and a PoPS reference, try to keep up. But maybe I shouldn’t talk. After all, this title and theme of this post is “My Endurance Affinity,” and we’ve hardly gotten into that, sort of.

But I forget just how easily my heart-rate goes up, figuratively speaking, when I endure physical exertion. Like, when I run, I suddenly feel some type of… high gear. That’s probably more bark than bite on an average Joe. But with me, that can take me quite a ways. So, when I get this way, I kick it up a notch, (or two, depending on how my body’s doing that day) and when I do that… sometimes it feels like I’m flying. God forbid that I know how fast I am ACTUALLY going 😉 But I get just as much of a high from that as I do from psycho-analyzing somebody, or reading a situation from a psychological point-of-view.

This is gonna take some thinking about. Same affinity, but as they’re are traps of the mind, they’re are traps of the body as well. And I don’t know the physical attribute anywhere NEAR as well as I do the mental attribute. So, I don’t want to do it in a way where my body will give out and break down on me when I’m older. No over doing it, that’s for sure. Meaning, I need to know when to stop “drinking” when I’m at my limit lol. Which shouldn’t be too hard, in theory. But with my affinity, I should keep a weather eye out, just in case.

You know that whirring sound you hear when tv shows feature people who’s had too much caffeine, or sugar, or some experimental something-or-other? Or just when a giant machine is powering up? Yeah, that’s something like the feeling I get when I get excited. Hands start shaking, sometimes my legs. But most of the time, my legs are just whispering to me *creepy voice “Doooo it!!!….. DO iiiit!!!!” Jaykay. Ell-oh-ell. em-oh, moving on. Just had to get that off my chest.

Soooooo…. I can’t believe I forgot—well, actually I can lol. But it’s still unbelievable that I forgo–wha–hmmm…. Yeeeeah, I guess I have a soft spot for knowledge and wisdom, but the physical attribute will be glorious. Glorious, I say. But what does this mean? More activity, for sure. But what kind? Not saying dancing will open up any time soon, but maybe in the future. Sports is an obvious option…. hm. Cooking is another, of course, but I’m talking big cooking. Lot of preparation, and focus. And then there’s the plain direct option; Exercise.

This will be a challenge. Though I do admit to breeze through a lot of things in the world of my own psyche torture maze, like a boss. But I have reached my peak, and it was no easy task. And now that I have reached my peak, I can go no further until I catch my physical fitness up, for it is directly linked to my mind. In fact,  the mental attribute is like…. 80% mental, and 20% physical, and vice-versa with physical fitness. Simply put, it’s like walking. The mind is the left leg, and physical fitness is the right, and you can’t move the left leg any further if the right leg won’t move. So, even though I’ll be building character, and even more affinity for life, it will be great to taste the deliciousness of the fruit that shows you just how far the body can go, if nurtured and trained, just like the mind.

Seems like most people have it the other way around, so just for the record, for those people, you gotta work out your brain, not just in knowledge, but in wisdom as well….. duh. If it makes you feel better, if it’s any consolation, even though that part came somewhat easy for me, at least physical fitness will throw me around like a rag doll lol. Beat me like an old blanket xD. That’ll be fun -_-

This will require, and more importantly, take willpower, and focus. Concentrated focus. I say that cause my focus is fine, but my concentrated focus needs a LOT of work. So does my willpower. Because most of the time, it’s not willpower that keeps me going, it’s curiosity, a strong conviction, and/or stubbornness.

All right people, this monkey is signing off. Take it easy.
Bye-bye now.

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