Archive for May, 2014

I literally just watched Emma Blackery’s video entitled; “Feel Good 101: Depression.” Hence the title. And I just wanted to touch–more like agree with one of the things she said, when she was talking about selfishness. One thing she talked about was doing things for yourself, small things, big things, just…. stuff, you know? I’ll link the video just below here, but what I’m getting at is that she wanted you to know that even if you aren’t in a place where you can talk to someone, it’s important that we at least try and enjoy bits and pieces of life to the best of our ability.

I can totally vouch for her on the selfishness thing. Like she said, don’t be a big asshole about it lol, but the reason I got depression originally was because I didn’t give a crap about myself. All I cared about was other people, family mainly. Which SOUNDS like a really brave and selfless thing to do for your family… but it’s not….. when you’re being an idiot about it.
I learned that I needed to care about myself, and excel. Otherwise, I would be doing my family, and overall myself, a disservice by not seeing what I was capable of. First you gotta figure out why life’s worth living, that I already knew though. What I still have trouble with is how I need to go about it. Just take a few proper steps in the right direction, and get help–For crying out loud, take it from me, you do NOT want to do this alone. So, if you do have someone, call out, cry out if you have to.
Just think, you are no less than anyone else. You’re in a bad place, but that does not mean you are broken for good. You are capable of great things, and I know this because you are human. We’re the smartest creatures on this planet (that we know of ;P), but we never act like it because for animals, they need to learn things right away, survival of the fittest. We take over twenty years to properly grow and experience life to its fullest, lol. As well we should <.< And to be honestly confident in whatever you want to do, that DOES take years, if we’re talking Veteran/Boss status xD
So, all in all, remember that you matter. Or let me tell you that you DO matter. Life is a precious thing, and a terrible thing to waste. So, if are able to talk to your parents about all this, I would give you the biggest shoulder-punch of admiration you’ll ever get in your entire lifetime. If you can’t go to your parents–me, personally, I’d  more likely than not go to my sister, cause we’re pretty tight, I’d say. All in all, I would encourage you to keep it in the family if at all possible.
A lot of people treat family like a bad marriage, like divorce is just around the corner. If you still have a family, hold onto it. I understand though that there are a lot of broken families out there, so there’s always teachers, in-school counselors, doctors–I think I would go for the depression hotlines that you could find the number to online, maybe a computer at school, the library, a friend’s when they aren’t looking ;), or just plain at home. The reason being is cause I don’t like doctors very much, not trying to talk you out of it or anything, lol. I’m just saying, in my own opinion, that if they put you on drugs–THEY AREN’T HELPING YOU!
Some people are really worse off that they need a pill, but if you aren’t having panic attacks every 5 minutes, I beg of you to just find a good doctor that you can really talk to and one that listens to you. Because that’s what’s gonna get your head in a good place, not some drug that you probably have done no research on whatsoever.  Some people can’t sit still… I would know. But sometimes, most of the time even, all you need is someone to listen to and someone to vent to. I would highly suggest also talking about things you’d like to do, or see, go to–blah, blah, blah lol. Setting goals can be hard, cause they feel so far away, you feel like your ambition will never last that long. But like a lot of things, it’s great to talk about it, and it’s great to keep it alive that way, yeah?
So, thank you for listening to my ramble on depression/learning to be selfish/treatment options. Really, I’ve been there, and it is not a good place. Twice I’ve been there and for two different reasons, so I must relay this back to you one more time, you do NOT…… you do not want to do this alone, believe me. And I hope anyone who is going through this gets the help you need 🙂
Bye-bye now.

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